Family counseling believes change starts when the family is ready. That is, to see improvement and to be open to trying new ways of communicating. Everyone is dealing with their own issues and struggles. When you collectively put people together there are bound to be some differences in perspective that arise – especially among family members. This is because family members are enmeshed and integrated in each other’s lives! Yes, we get to know each other so well! (Perhaps too well? Sometimes?) We know how to push each other’s buttons and we know how to trigger each other either consciously or subconsciously. And hence, family members can take for granted what certain members mean to them.
We forget positive ways in which to effectively talk to each other and respectfully deal with each other’s issues. We are all bringing our own unique “skeletons in the closet” to the table. And this is because we’re human. Sometimes it helps to know that we are ALL a little bit “crazy”. And this is a good thing because none of us are perfect and so we shouldn’t expect perfection from the people whom we love the most. Especially in these times of politics and Google and Coronavirus and vast amounts of data coming at us.
It’s just “not how it used to be”. We can all agree on this. Thus, the complexity of the family system has only compounded exponentially. We all seem to have a difference in perspective and experience. Families look so different across the board, in so many ways, but when we zoom in, there are things we all share. Sometimes it’s a movie, or going on a walk, or looking up at a sunset. This is why we value the ability to respect each individual within a family. We all have our own unique challenges to work through.