Six years ago, as I was finishing up my PhD in Buddhist ethics, I moved back to Missoula, Montana. I had a part-time job teaching philosophy for a community college, but wanted to do more with my time. So a friend convinced me to teach her meditation. Then she suggested I teach some friends. And then they suggested I reach out to a friend who had a yoga studio to teach publicly.
In order to do so, I made sure to get a basic certification in teaching meditation. There is no universal accreditation system for such things, and I had been practicing for over a decade and teaching for much of that time. But it felt wise to have at least a simple official seal of approval.
As I taught, I loved hearing the many things that people thought mindfulness was all about. Sometimes we’d share these in class to laugh together and learn.
Here are some of the things I heard from students (and others) over the years as a meditation teacher.
Meditation is about clearing the mind of all thoughts
This is perhaps the widest and most pernicious myth around meditation. It’s so widespread that there are cartoons showing the Zen master’s “thought bubble” as empty as if this is a sign of awakening. And it’s pernicious because it sets an impossible standard and sends beginners on a wild goose chase. Nobody’s mind is going to get empty.
Perhaps, after a very long time of meditating, the mind reaches calm. Imagine the waves on the sea. For many of us they are constantly rising and falling. Sometimes they are like 20-foot squalls, dangerous to us and anyone else near them. But to a practiced meditator, they can become calm as glass. But this isn’t empty. It’s just a starting point at seeing clearly what is reflected in the surface.
To get there, though, it takes immense amounts of time and energy. This is the simple truth. But as you practice, you begin to see glimpses of clarity that help keep you motivated. These are not little awakenings. They’re just glimpses of what’s to come. The real work continues.
For most of the time, we just focus on the breath. We can count to help stay present and to have a way to know when we’re veering off course. And the mind will go off course. It’s like a car with one flat tire, always pulling to one side. We just keep bringing it back, again and again and again.
And then the meditation is done. Whether it’s 10 minutes or an hour, the whole time can be consumed with just bringing the mind back to the breath. Buddhists call this “monkey mind” because we really do have to work hard to tame it and get it to remain on a given object for any period of time.
This is, sadly, probably getting much worse with social media these days. The constant dopamine bursts from new notifications, likes, and comments get us hooked on quick responses. Meditation, by contrast, can be intimidating as one begins to face withdrawals from that constant stream of stimuli. But stick with it and you’ll see progress.
I can’t meditate because I have such a busy mind
This is rarer and tends to come from acquaintances who don’t meditate. The reality is the exact opposite: you really should meditate because you have such a busy mind.
To a meditation teacher, this is like saying, “I can’t go to the gym because I’m so out of shape.” A busy mind is the perfect thing to bring to meditation. It means you have more to work with. It’ll keep you busy. And the meditation will be done before you know it.
It also means there is more room for progress. And it means that there is more for you to gain from developing a meditation practice. Getting to know our minds can be scary. The busy mind might feel like home in the way that living in a toxic environment might feel at home to some people who have never known any different.
It can be different. Not just for the Dalai Lama and the celebrity meditators on TV.
I tried meditation once and it didn’t work
This is another one I’ve heard mostly from people who are resistant to meditating. Again, just like going to the gym, it doesn’t work with one session.
In fact the first time we meditate, like the first time we go to the gym, might bring more pain than gain.
It takes time, perhaps a few weeks or longer, before we notice progress. And this might vary. This is one of the reasons having a good teacher is so helpful. There are bound to be roadblocks that you can’t just push though. Someone who has been there and can guide you around, above, or below whatever difficulty arises can make all the difference in the world.
I’m already pretty calm, I don’t need to meditate
This might have been my excuse early on. Luckily, I tried anyway. I found out pretty fast that I still had a busy mind when I finally sat down to look at it. And I also found that with some time I could calm it and use that calm space to work on other things in my life (mainly clinical depression, which I was working through in my 20s with therapists and medications).
These days, even though I have practiced for two decades, I still have rough seas in my mind most of the time. But I can see this more quickly and have the experiential knowledge that I can work through it. So I sit, patiently, and wait for the seas to calm. Even now, it takes time when I’m out of practice.
One caveat. Some people really should think twice about meditating. If you’re dealing with really heavy trauma or depression or anxiety, meditating, especially on your own, can make things worse. It’s like someone with a fractured arm going to the gym to lift weights. It’s not what is needed right now. That person needs to see a doctor and get a cast. Anyone dealing with major emotional troubles will be better off reaching out to a good therapist or other mental health professional before taking up a new meditation practice.