Play is what makes life fun. We all want to have that life we all dreamt about. You know the one – where we are all sitting around the puzzles and the Scrabble and the fire on Christmas and we are all, well, engaged in fun activities like games!
But maybe too often, we find ourselves drifting toward the television. And if emergency, break glass and there goes the Youtube on the phone which is doled out like crack cocaine or presents on Christmas morning.
Thus, to end the insanity, and to have the life you always dreamt of, you will need at least one scheduler in your house. This person is the Playmaster. This is the person who brings the magic. This the person who schedules the fun.
Yeah, the Playmaster is just the scheduler! Sounds like a small job, but it’s pretty much everything.
In the show “The Office” it was the party planning committee. Remember? Angela didn’t get any credit for throwing all those parties in the office, right? But without her, there would be no parties in the office!
Anyway – as a parent, it can be difficult to find the time and energy to play with your kids. It’s not uncommon to feel that you don’t have enough time in the day or that when you finally do get some free time, you would rather just relax. However, play is an essential part of childhood development and it can help foster healthy relationships between parents and their kids. Plus, your tribe will actually listen to you if you are the Playmaster.
The Playmaster
Let’s say this again because it’s so important: If you want your kids to do what you say, it really helps to be the person who plays with them. This is because they’re going to want to be on your good side because you’re the Playmaster! Which is a hefty title. It also means you know how to really talk to them!
The problem is, most parents don’t know how to play. It’s like they’ve grown up or something. It’s like something sucked all the fun out of their eyeballs or something.
What did your parents do? They probably gave you a lot of suggestions on what you should do with your life. Your father, if he’s like most, was probably vacant when it came to play. You wouldn’t see him on the floor with a bunch of dolls!
Funny how, when we were kids, we needed play to survive. It’s what we did. And now, it’s like, basically impossible to go back to that place! Even for me. I’m an improv kind of guy. And I still have to do CERTAIN things to make life magical, to get that dream life I always imagined a family should be.
One of those certain things is scheduling. The scheduler of playtime and activities is the person behind the scenes who secretly makes everything happen. Yes, if you want to have that “magical house” then one of you has to take on this role.
In Condoleeza Rice’s household, growing up, her parents would make someone the “President”. They would vote who was the President of the House. This person got to schedule what they were doing and to come up with an itinerary for vacations and even day to day events. Much to Condoleeza’s surprise, years later, she learned that her parents were voting for her all along. It’s almost like they were raising a future Secretary of State or something!
Anyway, you can do this with your kids, too. Nominate someone to come up with the schedule of what you’re going to do. Call it your “3 to Thrive”. Yes, 3 activities. Let’s call them: “Puzzles”, because how fun is it to do puzzles for the next half hour? And how about “Hide and Go Seek”, and then “Reading”? Or how about “gluing construction paper” time?
And everyone will LOVE this structure. It really is the difference between staring dumbly ahead at the tv versus creating magic moments together as a family.
Put another way, scheduling playtime is one of the best ways to ensure that you make time for your children each day. Even if it’s only 20 minutes out of the day, spending quality time playing together will help build strong connections between family members and give everyone something fun to look forward to each day.
Now notice – reading might turn into singing into the karaoke microphone by the time we actually get to it! Just go with it. The key is that we are playing together!
Reading also might turn into bathtub time. If this happens, this is perfect because then you can bring the dolls into the bathtub and really get crazy. We have 10,000 dolls in our tub at all times. Good luck on getting in there on an average day.
Playing with dolls in the bathtub is great because it gets the parasympathetic nervous system going. This means you can really relax, and oh yeah, feel the heat of the water. And it just makes dolls easier to play with when you’re in a hot tub.
NARRATION
Still having a hard time “getting into it”?
One great way to connect with your child is by narrating what they’re doing. This helps them understand how their actions impact others and gives them a chance to practice speaking about their feelings. Narrating also allows you to observe small moments that can turn into opportunities for play, such as when your child gets excited about something or starts playing with a toy in an interesting way.
Thus, all you have to do is narrate what the kids are doing. Just start audibly stating out loud what the child is doing.
“Oh now you are holding the Buzz doll and making him fly! Are you going to press the big red button? What sound does he make?”
Narrating what the child is doing will help to give you the proper entry point for when you can get into the land of play.
“Oh now you are standing on one foot!”
You might want to do this sparingly and not shove the narration down their throat. But, sometimes you just gotta go all in as well. Hey whatever gets the job done!
I often like to get on the kids’ level as well. Bend my knees. Breathe deeply.
For example, if your child is playing with blocks, you might say something like “you’re stacking those blocks so high! How many do you think you can fit on top before it falls down?” This way you can enter the land of play with them without feeling overwhelmed yourself.
But to reiterate, narration is where it is at. Just keep stating out loud what they are doing, and then you will begin to naturally vibe and play with them!
VIDEOCAMERA
Sometimes I even turn on the videocamera on my phone and make little movies from the POV of the dolls. It helps when it is fun for me, as well.
TIMER THE PLAY
Turn on that kitchen timer to 5 minutes. Play for 5 minutes, you can do this much! It’s like practicing an instrument. You just practice the piano 5 minutes to start out with.
All you gotta do is literally touch it. Jump in that cold freezing water and come back out again. The key is that you jumped in.
DON’T FORGET!
Play has many benefits beyond just strengthening family bonds; it can also help reduce stress in adults, promote creativity in children, and even aid in physical development among toddlers. Playing together also helps foster communication skills by giving everyone a chance to express themselves without fear of judgment or criticism from others. Finally, making time for play reinforces the idea that life should be fun and enjoyable – an important lesson for both adults and children alike!
John Michaels is a local Missoula author who graduated from Brown University in creative writing. In between raising kids, he spends his time meandering around downtown Missoula, writing screenplays, doing cryotherapy, and playing chess.