When things get really hard – like in a relationship or with finances – then there is one place I always go to at the end of the night. And it’s gratitude!

  • We remind each other, time and again, of what we do have.
  • Sure, maybe one day we’ll reach that one goal and buy that one car which looks so nice. But until then, let’s focus on what we do have!

1. Gratitude journal

Find a place where you write down 5 reasons of why you are grateful! My husband even does this in the shower. He has these notes that stick to the wall called “Aqua Notes”. And he lists his 5 reasons and thinks about what he is grateful for, in there! But it can be anywhere! The key is that you have a system set up for when you do it. When will you do it? Maybe write in bed right before you go to sleep? The reason this is so powerful is because it challenges you to put on paper your thoughts about what you are grateful for.

 

And writing is nothing more than thinking out loud! Maybe notice the big things each day you have in your life such as your family, your house, having a roof over your head, or your support system. Then move onto the smaller things such as having five extra minutes of sleep that morning, or your favorite food being in your cupboard. Try starting your day with this practice of writing in your gratitude journal and expressing thanks. Being grateful like this is really a lifesaver. It’s also a great way to refocus when things get really hard.

2. Gratitude Board

Cut out images and words which convey what you are thankful for in your life. It is helpful to hang this somewhere where you will interact with it daily. Each time you pass this board take five seconds to scan all of these things in your life that you have. Express your gratitude and joy for having these people, things, and experiences in your life. Another simpler form of gratitude board is simply those “digital picture frames.” Have you seen these? You just upload your favorite pictures in it, and as you walk through the house, you pass it. And you can be reminded of what and who you love!

 

3. Gratitude Jar

As moments or things enter your life where you find gratitude – write them down on a slip of paper, say thanks and put them in a jar. When the jar is full, take time to go through each one and really experience the feeling of gratitude. Then start over.

You can do this for yourself or have other people join in and say reasons why they are thankful. The fun part about this will be when it’s time to open the jar and read these tiny pieces of paper to be reminded of why life is so worth living.

 

 

4. Practicing verbal “thanks” throughout the day

Some mix this with prayer, even. Whatever that means to you! You simply talk aloud about what you are grateful for at the end of the day. And at the beginning! We like to do this, lying in bed as a family. We say out loud, “What are 3 things that we did today?”  And we reflect on the day. It’s great when the kids get into it. With this said, it’s great to do by yourself, as well. I notice that the second I remember to be grateful I have to do it right then. Because if I don’t do it right then, then it will slip through my fingers. “Like sands through the hour glass.” 

 

You can do this at meal time, or in the morning when the sun comes up, or you can do this as you’re drinking your coffee. Maybe making your commute to work at each red light. Any small pauses throughout the day where you can take 5 to 10 seconds to say thanks for something verbally is so incredibly powerful. This helps me to practice mindfulness – and helps me to be more in tune with noticing small things that come up throughout the day. We often think gratitude needs to be a giant big accomplishment, but it’s really about all the small things. Remember this is a muscle – and you’re practicing getting stronger at noticing things of gratitude.

5. Do a gratitude visualization

Take the time to sit in a spot where you can close your eyes. Do some deep inhales and quick exhales. This is a really powerful tool of thinking of moments of gratitude you had in your past. What happened that made you feel really proud in your life? What did you do that made you smile lately?  And you just stack it. So it’s important to have many memories of gratitude!

Relive the experience to the best of your ability. Now think of 3 goals that you want to have in your life. This will link the two ideas together. Pretend as if they are already accomplished.

 

How will that feel? Try raising your arms to the sky and smiling. Hold. Feel the energy of what it feels like to be alive! How lucky you are! A lot of times, at the end of the night, we go out to the back yard or bathtub or hot tub as sort of a ritual with the kids.

And we would look out at the mountains and simply talk about how grateful we are!  Sure, we’re not going on vacation this year because of Covid. And maybe our house isn’t as big as we’d like it to be. And my husband doesn’t have his Tesla yet. And aren’t those kind of silly, anyway?

And isn’t it just a car anyway that gets you from point A to point B? And “Flying Squirrel” and the mall train is closed because of Covid. But that’s quite the back yard we have! 

And how lucky we are that the kids would rather stay here at the house rather than go to another park!  Doesn’t this mean something? That they’re happy? Maybe we had a rough day – but they had a total blast with the bubble guns. We must be doing something right, we say. And by stacking what we are grateful for, we find our centers again. It is healing.