One of the greatest insights from both ancient philosophy and modern psychology is that the happiness that is most important in our lives is not a matter of just how we feel in any particular moment. The happiness of a Missoula gathering with friends or pizza and an exciting movie is great – but always fleeting.
Marketing agencies, with their endless budgets and many smart people, try to convince us otherwise. They show us smiling faces and laughter to accompany whatever product they are pushing.
But the real happiness that lasts and carries us through hard times doesn’t have a marketing team. It also doesn’t come with big grins and laughter, but instead usually with a subtle smile or simply a look of confidence and thoughtfulness.
Here are some habits we can start cultivating now to build up and ensure lasting happiness.
First, exercise
We all know that a regular exercise routine is great for maintaining a healthy, strong body. But it also has great effects on our emotions and our lasting happiness. Exercise has been proven to quickly elevate our mood, making the rest of our day and week go more smoothly and joyfully.
Maintaining a healthy weight and physical strength also helps us move beyond barriers in our daily lives. As I enter my 40s, I have noticed all too well that I get injured much more easily than I did in my 20s and I recover much more slowly. I also see that if I keep up a baseline of activity and fitness, a lot of tasks (like moving heavy boxes into or out of storage) can be much easier.
We don’t have to become body-builders or run yearly marathons to reap the benefits of regular exercise. Just 20-30 minutes of moderate exercise a day, or as little as 5-10 minutes of intense exercise—also known as High Intensity Interval Training (HIIT)—has been shown to have noticeable effects on our bodies and minds.
Cultivate purpose
Another essential part of living happily is having a purpose and finding ways to weave it into our everyday lives. Purpose can be any of a wide number of things. Some of us want to be helpers, so finding ways to help others is deeply rewarding. Or maybe we are natural leaders and find purpose in leading groups of people to better themselves and the world around them. Or perhaps you are an artist and the greatest joy will be in honing your skills to bring to life something only you can imagine.
Having a strong sense of purpose helps us pull through the inescapable drudgery of some days or weeks. All of us need to wash dishes and do laundry and pay taxes. Holding our purpose in our minds and knowing we’ll be actively pursuing it soon helps to make these tasks fly by. As a meditator, I can even bring my purpose-giving activity into otherwise boring tasks like this.
In fact, we can frame most of our ordinary tasks as part of that purpose-driven life. We can note that just doing the laundry is part of being a great parent. Or that doing dishes with care sets a good example, as a leader should. With the right mindset, one focused on and flowing from our purpose, all of our activities can be meaningful.
Third, get things done
I might be a bit overly self-critical, but I feel like this is one of my weak points. At least early in the day, I often have a very hard time getting things done. With the whole wide world of news and social media and YouTube videos in front of me, it’s all too easy to slip into zombie-mode from around 9am until well after noon.
When I was a graduate student living in England, I could usually make up for my lazy morning hours with a very busy evening. Starting around 7pm, I often worked feverishly until midnight or later. Needless to say, that is a lot harder now that I’m over 40 and have a wife and kiddo who would like to see me in the evenings.
So I’ve done my best to give myself simple tasks to complete in the mornings, while I allow myself to be a little lazy. Then I make sure I have at least an hour or two in the afternoon to dig in to more complicated items. And I still try to have some time each evening, even if it is late, to complete anything that couldn’t get done earlier. I know I feel better when I get more done earlier.
Getting a dog has helped in this a bit too, as one of my tasks for keeping her happy is a long morning walk. That activity has the benefit of also getting me out on a walk, ensuring that I get at least a base level of exercise each day.
Just as completing a task gives us a dopamine reward in our brain, we must recognize that all of those distractions out there can do the same. The problem is that no matter how many of those easy rewards we pile up, we still have our work ahead of us and that can make us feel miserable. Getting stuff done, especially those things that threaten to hover over us for days or weeks, will lighten our load and our spirits.
Justin Whitaker, Ph.D., holds a doctorate in Buddhist ethics from the University of London. He has given lectures, and taught Buddhist studies and Philosophy at Oxford University, the University of Hong Kong, the University of Montana, and at Antioch University’s intensive study-abroad program in India. A certified meditation teacher, he is a regular contributor to Patheos.com, and Senior Correspondent for Buddhistdoor Global. Justin is the official blog writer for Sunflower Counseling MT in Missoula, Butte, Kalispell, Billings, and surrounding areas. He lives in Missoula with his family.