The cold and flu season knocked at our door unexpectedly this week. Our lovely Regina, who had just embarked on her first week in Kindergarten, unknowingly ushered in the seasonal sniffles. A rite of passage for every student, I suppose.

Being the resilient parent I strive to be, I initially thought I would be immune. After seeing Regina and then John under the weather, my inner voice declared, “Ah, these are mere childhood colds; surely we adults are shielded.” How wrong was I! Before I knew it, the cold had me in its clutches, pulling me down even deeper than my little ones.

This allowed me time to think. How could I escape the wrath and vile clutches of these seasonal maelstroms?

As I sat there in bed, sniffling, it suddenly occurred to me: My dear wife Annie remains untouched by these seasonal afflictions. Perhaps it’s her natural immunity, which our youngest, who is one, inherits through imbibing her mother’s milk. On a lighter note, as perturbing as it sounds, one wonders if adults could somehow tap into the same protective magic? By adults, I mean me. A blend of it with cocoa, perhaps, to ward off the chills? Is there any science to back this up?

At least for fun, I couldn’t help but to look it up. And here’s what I discovered:

Breast Milk and Adults: The components of breast milk that provide passive immunity to infants, mainly the antibodies, are specific to the pathogens the mother has been exposed to. In theory, if a mother has antibodies against a certain strain of the common cold and an adult were to consume her milk, they would be ingesting these antibodies. However, there are several considerations:

Digestion: The adult digestive system is more robust and might break down many of the beneficial components of the milk before they could have an immune benefit.

Specificity: Even if the antibodies survive digestion, they would need to be specific to the cold strain the adult is exposed to.

Duration: The protection provided by these antibodies would be temporary.

Good enough for me, I thought. I immediately called up my wife and pitched the idea.

“No, are you crazy?” she asked.

“Honey,” I said, “While the antibodies might offer temporary protection, other components of breast milk, like lactoferrin, have antimicrobial properties and might help in strengthening the immune response…”

“No,” she said. “I’m sorry this is not for you. If my body knows I’m giving out free milk, then it’s just not going to like this. Did you study this? Is there data to support your hypothesis?”

“Well, the extent and efficiency of this in adults is not well-researched, however…”

“Okay, that’s enough,” she said. “I’m just so sorry. You’re going to have to find milk that will stop your specific cold with another mom.”

This is getting weird, part of me thought. How deep do I want to go down this rabbit’s hole?

“It’s okay,” I said, coughing. “Just a few more days of this and I’ll be fine.”

Okay, I thought, it appears as though we have reached a wall. And there was no way my wife would supply the antibodies, I thought, so it’s kind of a useless idea. Wait, was she serious about finding another mom? It was late at night. A silly idea. She must have been joking.

Meanwhile, the cold was intensifying. My nose was starting to sneeze like I had a cat hair allergy. Hence, I decided to isolate myself, retreating to the sanctuary of our basement. There, the true battle with sinus congestion, a most frustrating foe, began.

That’s right: it was there in the basement that the battle between me and the cold went down.

Weapon 1: Breathing techniques:

Here is the breathing technique I used: it’s at the end of the video 2:38:

And here’s the Wim Hof breathing technique which also helped:

THE MACHINE

However, the relentless congestion persisted. As nighttime approached, I faced a dilemma: to medicate or not? The stimulating effects of decongestants are less than ideal for sleep, as we all know.

That’s when it struck me! A year ago, after recovering from a similar ailment, I had invested in a peculiar device designed for moments like this. It waited for me in the bathroom, promising relief.

With the house in silent slumber, I ran upstairs. I retrieved the machine from the top shelf in the bathroom, assembling it with the eagerness of a child opening a much-anticipated gift.

https://www.walgreens.com/store/c/navage-saline-nasal-irrigation-starter-kit/ID=prod6399077-product

Upon activation, the device worked its magic, creating a therapeutic current between my nostrils. It was unlike anything I’d experienced before. Though reminiscent of the neti pot, this machine surpassed it in both comfort and efficacy. No longer did I fear the saltwater traveling the wrong path and exacerbating my congestion. This was innovation at its finest, providing a rejuvenating sensation akin to a spa.

It’s like a Tesla for the nose, I thought.

The culmination of the session was sheer liberation – I could breathe with ease again. The sheer joy was indescribable, akin to witnessing a profound moment in nature.

Part 2: The Silver Linings of a Sneezy Season

In addition to the aforementioned magic nostril machine, another small wonder graced my nights: Turbine Rhinomeds. These subtle nasal aids, which I’ve been accustomed to for nightly comfort, truly proved their worth during my sick days. They offered me that gentle, yet essential, support to breathe easier as I rested.

A side note for the health enthusiasts: our home is equipped with a cold plunge. Yes, I did dare to immerse myself in those chilled depths. Call it instinct or just plain stubbornness, but the cold immersion, against all odds, appeared to lend a hand in my recovery.

Now, to some, a week of isolation may seem daunting. But let me share a secret: it was a boon in disguise. Enveloped in the dim comfort of our basement, I embarked on a cinematic journey of sorts. Movies that were long relegated to my “one day I’ll watch” list suddenly became my companions. Like “John Wick”, that quintessential action-packed ‘guy movie’. Admittedly, I only ventured as far as the tragic end of his dog, enough to grasp the premise. Then, for a lighter note, I delved into the comical antics of “The Changeup”, starring the dynamic duo of Ryan Reynolds and Justin Bateman.

Surrounded by forgotten treasures like a giant Lego set and Elon Musk’s latest autobiography, I had an epiphany. For so long, I’ve dreaded sickness. But perhaps, in the stillness and solitude it brings, there’s a hidden sanctuary, akin to a man cave. A haven where one can indulge in nostalgia, like re-watching gems like “Breaking Bad”, or even embark on introspective journeys with meditation. Heck, I even picked up my guitar!

As summer’s warmth gives way to fall’s embrace, I’m inspired to greet the upcoming cold months with renewed hope. If there’s anything this unexpected ‘basement vacation’ has taught me, it’s that even in discomfort, there’s joy to be found. Whether it’s a movie binge, an immersive read, or simply an introspective solitude, there’s a silver lining to every sneeze and sniffle.

Part of me, now this is a small part, a very small part – can’t wait to get sick again.

John Michaels, a Missoula native and author, has been captivating readers with his writing for years. A graduate of Brown University’s esteemed creative writing program, Michaels has spent the majority of his career crafting stories that resonate with his readers and capture the essence of the human experience. Despite the demands of raising children, Michaels has continued to pursue his passions, finding solace in the bustling downtown Missoula scene. There, he spends his free time honing his craft, whether it be working on short stories, playing music, or dedicating himself to his work at Sunflower Counseling, MT.