What a title! I have always found case studies fascinating and greatly important in understanding how other people have journeyed through the world to find inner peace. This novel is from the perspective of a psychologist working through trauma with five of her most memorable patients. These five “heroes” as she refers to them – were able to find peace after their therapeutic treatment. These patients survived severe childhood abuse, trauma, neglect, sexual abuse, incest, and gender-based violence.

As a result of surviving such extreme trauma – these individuals found themselves suffering in adulthood with symptoms such as vomiting, impotence, shame, denial, and other maladaptive behaviors. However, despite the severity of the abuse they suffered and the damaging effect it had on their lives as adults they all found themselves in Dr. Gildiner’s office week after week – uncovering their horrors. They reframed these experiences in order to find empowerment and heal themselves in a new way to survive and thrive.

They reframed their experiences.

 

For many of these people it took years to begin feeling safe to begin their process of delving into their traumas. This again reinforces for me the need to move through the therapeutic process in a slow and safe pace. And to come back to the thought, which seems so evident, but in this culture we want things done fast – and it’s not a race. People in their own time will begin the process of uncovering and healing their deepest psychological wounds.

Case Studies

 

Gildiner begins her book with her very first patient whom she refers to as “Laura”. Gildiner is humbled by Laura’s naivete as a brand new psychologist. She remembers having the feeling of being able to synthesize all of her newly acquired knowledge and training in order to “cure” her patients. She reflects on how she began her work as a psychologist. How “messy” and nonlinear this work truly is! Instead of being able to control one’s subjects as a researcher might experience she must learn patience and flexibility as new information and pieces to the puzzle slowly trickles in.

However, sometimes the information never becomes complete. People’s accounts are so varied in the way they have protected themselves from such painful experiences. She finds sometimes it is more damaging to relive the experiences by processing them fully. Thus this new developing perspective as a psychologist begins to form through her working with her patients.

However, sometimes the information never becomes complete.

 

Her patient Laura’s experiences were shocking in the sense of how disconnected she was from her own internal trauma, abuse, and neglect. We learn many of Gildiner’s patients never labeled themselves as abuse victims nor did many of them label the actions as abuse. It was only through this slow processing that they started to separate what could be considered a “normal” childhood experience from their own. Laura was one of these examples of true psychological disconnectedness which happened in order to protect herself as an adult. She enters Gildiner’s office with the symptoms of having a continuous genital herpes outbreak. It wasn’t being cured fully from the medication she was prescribed from her doctor. Her doctor felt there might be a psychological connection between her physical outbreaks and thought she should seek help from a psychologist.

Author Catherine Gildiner

Laura, like many patients initially did not want to be in therapy – she just wanted to cure her herpes. Dr. Gildiner suggests this may be a result of having excessive stress. Laura was so disconnected from her emotional state she hadn’t been able to connect with how stress would feel and was thus was sure she didn’t “have it”. Gildiner took a step back to learn more about Laura’s family history. In all of her cases – this was the first step toward building rapport and trust in the therapeutic relationship.

Gildiner took a step back.

 

However, unexpectedly Laura did not wish to recount her family history. Gildiner felt shocked as a new psychologist to have her first patient not know what stress was or to refuse such stress to share their family history. She realized people will go about sharing their story in their own way and in their own time. Laura would be one of those people whom she would need to proceed with in a different way.

Through their experience together after years of work Gildiner learned how Laura was abandoned by her father whom she was raised with for the first 9 years of her life and was left to care for her younger siblings. For several months she was tasked with making sure her siblings were clothed and fed by stealing. Laura was determined to not get caught by anyone for the fear of breaking up the family. Her tenacity continued throughout the remainder of her childhood and into adulthood. She was able to keep going and find strength despite the circumstances of her life. It took Laura years to finally realize her father had abused her family and was not the pure figure whom she thought was “doing his best” for the family.

Protecting the abusers

 

One of the most shocking experiences of this book for me was how the patients protected their abusers – who were often their parents. Many of these patients would recite how their parents were just trying to protect them or just doing their best. It wasn’t until the work in therapy where they would finally realize how detrimental the abuse was on their development and growth as people. Yet even after their work was over some of the patients also shared a shocking revelation of not choosing anything different to happen to them. They learned about certain protective parts of themselves as a result of the experience.

Peter

 

One of these cases was “Peter” who was locked in his family’s attic for the first five years of his life. As a result he found solace, protection, and connection from the piano. This was his “secure base” from a Bowlby’s perspective. He found a way to communicate by playing the keys and receiving a response back through the sound of the notes. He carried this to adulthood and continued to play music through the rest of his life. In reframing the experience, he shares that if the early neglect never happened then he wouldn’t have needed to find love from music.

I recommend this book to anyone interested in gaining perspective from individuals who have survived tremendously devastating experiences. It is important to continue to share our stories in order to find greater healing.