When my partner and I were younger, we decided to seek marriage counseling. Now, it wasn’t because I had an affair, but because I was genuinely concerned about the possibility of having one. You see, growing up, I witnessed my uncle’s affair with his secretary – a classic example of a man achieving success and succumbing to temptation. In my situation, my work had me traveling to other countries and meeting beautiful women, which naturally made me want to ensure my head was on straight and my commitment to my partner was unwavering.

In our counseling sessions, we tackled the difficult subject of intimacy. It’s no secret that our society often avoids talking openly about intimacy, which made our conversations challenging. But, we pushed through, and my partner expressed how important it was to discuss our feelings instead of keeping them bottled up inside.

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“Men and Women Can’t Just Be Friends,” my friend told me.

“What?” I retorted back, biting my lip.

My friend’s belief that “men and women can’t just be friends” made me apprehensive, but it also led me to think about my relationships in the long-term, not just in the present moment. I wanted to be sure that I was making the right choices, given the fact that I come from a family of faithful parents. Sure, I had my wild times when I was younger, but now, being married and having a wife is what truly matters to me.

My friend’s disparaging remark struck me as puerile, prompting me to retort, “Just because you can’t be faithful doesn’t mean I can’t, or all men can’t.” His laughter did little to dampen my affection for him, as I recognize the value of embracing the imperfections that make us all uniquely human.

He laughed it off, but that’s alright. Again, I have a deep love for my friend and for all the imperfect people in my life who keep me on my toes. Part of me wonders if that means I’m on the right track? The earlier version of me, the me-before-marriage-counseling couldn’t handle this. It’s sort of like my cup or my well has gotten larger, I want to say. And I just seem to be able to roll with the punches more.

Looking back, I firmly believe that marriage counseling has played a significant role in my steadfast faithfulness. My fear of not being faithful and taking small, proactive steps have helped us stay on the right path. By continually working on our relationship and addressing potential issues head-on, we’ve been able to maintain a strong, loving bond, and for that, I am truly grateful.

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The Indispensability of a Marriage Therapist

Our existence is inextricably linked to the quality of our relationships, which serve as a reflection of our innermost selves.

When confronted with the specter of marital strife, even the possibility of such, (like what happened with us!) it is imperative to seek out avenues for healing and growth. Marriage counseling presents such an opportunity, providing a safe haven for couples to explore their shared journey and rediscover the essence of their connection.

As it did with us, again! Going into the office for the first time with our new therapist was a total blast. She was funny and charismatic and engaging. Not afraid to go “there”. And if I may say, going over the Gottman method, it really reminded me of taking a class in college. And my wife loved it, too. We would go home, and just laugh.

And then we would carry the lessons we learned into our day to day – and the ideas of who we are and what we meant to each other just sort of bubbled up. And it made us stronger, doing this together!

The process of counseling not only salvages relationships but also has far-reaching implications on the lives of the individuals involved. By addressing the emotional turmoil arising from relational discord, couples like us can experience a renewed sense of purpose and vitality.

The Invaluable Rewards

The transformative power of marriage counseling can be observed through a multitude of benefits, such as:

  1. Fostering Empathy: Counseling encourages couples to step into each other’s shoes and explore their partner’s thoughts, feelings, and desires. This heightened understanding paves the way for greater compassion and empathy within the relationship.
  2. Strengthening Emotional Bonds: By delving into the deepest recesses of their emotional landscape, couples can forge a renewed sense of intimacy and trust, leading to a more fulfilling and satisfying relationship.
  3. Cultivating Resilience: As couples navigate the complexities of their shared existence, marriage counseling equips them with the skills and strategies necessary to weather the storms of life with grace and fortitude.
  4. Promoting Self-Actualization: The journey of counseling not only nurtures the relationship but also fosters personal growth and development. Through introspection and self-exploration, individuals can attain a greater sense of self-awareness and alignment with their core values.

The Sunflower Counseling, MT Approach

At Sunflower Counseling, MT, we believe in creating a stimulating and captivating counseling experience for our clients. Our team of adept therapists employs a range of thought-provoking techniques and exercises that challenge couples to delve into the depths of their relationship dynamics. By doing so, we provide an engaging and entertaining environment for couples to embark on their journey of self-discovery and relational enrichment.

Taking the Plunge

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The pursuit of marital harmony is an ongoing endeavor that requires dedication, introspection, and a willingness to evolve. And it’s work!

And I feel like this is what we did. And who knows if it saved our relationship? But my wife is happy that I showed up. (A lot of men, I hear have trouble expressing their feelings? Is this true? Ha ha.)

But I learned that marriage counseling serves as a guiding light in this quest for our authentic selves, offering couples and individuals the tools and insights necessary to navigate the intricate tapestry of their relationship.

At Sunflower Counseling, MT, we are privileged to accompany you on this journey of renewal and healing – empowering you and your love to fully embrace your true potential.

If you are interested in marriage counseling, our therapist Laura Sarsony, LCPC, currently has openings.

So does: Graham Bacon, PCLC.

John Michaelsa Missoula native and author, has been captivating readers with his writing for years. A graduate of Brown University’s esteemed creative writing program, Michaels has spent the majority of his career crafting stories that resonate with his readers and capture the essence of the human experience. Despite the demands of raising children, Michaels has continued to pursue his passions, finding solace in the bustling downtown Missoula scene. There, he spends his free time honing his craft, whether it be working on screenplays, playing music, or dedicating himself to his work at Sunflower Counseling, MT.